Questions Tourists have Asked Me

by Capt. C. Koos

I was doing some dive classes down in the Keys two years ago and had a person ask me, "Capt. Chad, how far apart are all these mile markers?"

Just last winter a lady asked me,"What time does the 4:30 tour leave?" And if that wasn't bad enough, her husband asked "How many sunset cruises do you do each day?" I'm not smart enough to make this stuff up.

Then there was the little British kid who was playing with a manatee. The manatee was taking a crap. The little boy sticks his head up and says with an English accent, "This must be a boy manatee." The rest of the family agreed. Then the turd broke off. Well  half the family gets upset yelling, "It's a lepper manatee! It's willey fell off!" And the little boy says, "Don't worry. I'll dive down and get it. Then we can take them to the hospital and sew it back on!" I was very embarrassed when I explained what it was that fell out of/broke off the manatee. Then they got disgusted that manatee didn't use a bathroom. I remember changing the subject quickly. I don't remember to what...

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